Naruto, Best Ninja Ever
by Dogs Bower
Summary: A story of a hero's journey to become the best ninja ever! Not really. This is just a joke story my friend did that I have begun to edit over so it's partially understandable. Now finished at 13 chapters.
1. He's the Strongest Ninja Ever

**Naruto, Best Ninja Ever**

A story by: SoldierOfFortune

Made somewhat intelligible by me just for fun. I left in most of the stuff I thought was funny in the original such as wrong tense and increasingly misspelled names so as not to lose the overt silliness of this.

Chapter 1: He's the Strongest Ninja Ever

Hey, here goes my first story, so please be kind to me, kays? Thanks.

So one day in leaf village Naruto was walking and he had to fight from these two ninjas were were my tomodachi's (that's Japanese for friend) character she made up called Black Shippudan Storm Kakashi from the future and he could make lighting with his eyes. Then there was Megalin, the Great Wanderer who was a girl and she had the ability to fly and shoot magic energy spheres from her palms. She looked like Sakura a little bit, but she made her a good character because she's got blue hair and not pink which Sakura has, so there's a difference. (Please don't steal them, okay? She gave me permission to use them.)

Naruto said, "Hey, you're not Sakura and Kakashi!" He was angry. So he took out a ninja knife and hit at the enemies but they did not go down so easily!

"Ha, you can't stop us Konoha ninja!" she said. We're from the future with better power skills than you!"

So Naruto said back in a scream, "No, I will win fight!" and he threw a Rassengan at her but she dodged it and jumped out of the way. Then Black Shippuden Storm Kakshi did his lightening eyes and he shot at Naruto and Naruto got hit and fell down into the dirt. "Damn it! I am hit!" yelled Naruto, bleeding from the face and head.

Will he survive? Fine out and stay tuned to the story! Thanks to you for reading it! I like some reviews please, okay then!

**My Note: I don't actually want or need any reviews (which would conceivably be flames) for this because it's not my story in the first place, but you can if you want to because I can't stop you, as there is no way to turn them off.**


	2. Can He Win Fight?

Chapter 2: Can he win fight?

Naruto was on ground injured. Didn't look good for him but he's the strongest ninja ever so he got back up and tried to shoot back two more Rasingans at evil enemies. This time, it works!

"Oh (Editor's Note: I honestly have no clue what that was supposed to be, damn maybe?)," says Megalin, "We don't got powers that can beat ninja here. We've got to leave now! Right now!" she says. Then she jumps toward the sky and disappeared.

"I understand," says Black Storm Kakashi and released attack. He went to sky too and was both gone. Naruto stood up and he looked angry.

"You come back here! You are cowards!" he yells. But they were gone far away. He looked over and saw Sasuke and Sakkura coming over to wear he was.

"Oh my God, Naruto. I saw you being attacked by two weird ninjas now from here. Who was they?" she asked.

"I don't know," said Naruto back and still looking angry. "I will find out sooner or later, I am betting."

"They were stupid. I could have beaten them both with my arms tied behind my back," said Sasukee.

And Sakurra, Narutho, Saske, went and walked back to leaf village but real Kakashi was watching the whole fight.

What did Kakshe think? Please find out in Chap.3! Thanks. Reviews!

**Again, these were just the original author's notes trying to jokingly beg for reviews. Please don't feel the need to.**


	3. Naruto and Friends Go Shopping

Chapter 3: Naruto and friends go shopping

So Nartuto and Sasuke and Sakkra was going take their minds off the mystery ninjas what went to attack them yesterday. They went for walk in park. They got to part which had the kids playing. Elderly women feeding squirrels (but was ninjas because are still in leaf village Konoeha) and had water for swimming where people was at.

"Hey Naruto, this looks like good place to eat lunches," says Sakura. She set down lunch bucket in grass. They all sit down in grass too and eat food.

When they are finished, Saskee says, "That good lunch, Sakuraa. You make good rice balls."

"Oh, thanks to you, Sasuke," says Sakura back and smile on face. "It's nothing, really."

Naruto look up at sky and says, "Hey it is so nice out, you guys. Let's go shopping!" he said. Sakura and Saskeu think was good idea so went got up to went shopping.

The three ninjas passed windows of shows for they walking around. Sakura always made points at dress windows because she's girl but Narurho and Saskukea was boys, don't like that thing because not gay, so only stared at shop's glass that has guns and knives and food like cakes, haha, because wants dessert.

"Oh, cakes and pies," says Naruto, licking lips.

Sakura looked mad at him. "Narutho, you just ate food already! You can't be hungry again!"

"I always have room for some cakes and some pies, Sakura!" he laughs.

"Maybe we can us a five finger discount, hehehehe," whispers Sasuke, being bad.

Naruto, "Looks like good idea to me," he says.

And Saskue and Narutoo stole pie when nobody was looked. Sarura got so mad because she standing there when they ran away.

"YOU GUYS ARE STUPID!" she yelled at air, watching them run off and waving her hands.

"Hey, it was on sale anyway!" Naruto yelled back, laughing.

I make continue in next chapter, ok? Thanks. Reviews!


	4. Tuesdays Suck

Chap. 4 Tuesdays Suck

Oh my God, it was a Tuesday! Naturo woke up in his bed, got up, dressed in his ninja outfit, ate breakfast, combed his blond spiky hair and looked into the mirror, and he said "I HATE TUESDAYS!"

That was the day Naruto's village of Leaves had to take a test. It was a secret test too so nobody didn't know what it be or when. Somebody could just attack and nobody knew when. Narutho remembered why he failed so many times.

"I hate this test," he says angrily. "Not even a best ninja ever can make hits when you get attacked so fast."

"Like this?" says voice from air and tree.

"Oh no!" yelled Narutos. He look up and sees Kakasi in a tree above his head and he jump down to get him.

Naruto jump back and hits Kaksie's hand away from his own head skillfully. Quickly, he moved fast until he was behind Kaksi but Kakake was so fast he makes shadows which were not him, so Narhuhot was fooled. He punch tree and says "Ow! I hit tree instead of Kakshi sensei!" He rubs his hand with pain.

"Looks like you failed again, Narrhuto," says Kakshis sensei. He laughs and Naruhot only looks mad and pouts.

Please look forward to next chap! And make sure to give a reviews please on each chap to tell me how it go and you like. Thank you!


	5. Ice Cream For Ninjas

Chap. 5 Ice Cream For Ninjas

Fat ninja Choji came into room of school and said "I love ice cream!" loudly.

All students look and him and Saske says "So shut up, you're so fat we already know you like ice cream."

"I'M NOT FAT, I'M PLEASANTLY PLUMP," anger Chiji and slam fist down on desktop making a kid sitting there fo flying. He went out window but no one cared because they all want ice cream too. So all ran out of room to get the truck.

"I don't care if Choji's fat, I want ice cream too for myself!" says Nahuroto.

"Naruhuto, you're always hungry!" says Sakura annoyedly.

"So what?" says Narutho.

"Well, I'm not even hungry. You're gonna get fat like Choji is," she says.

"Okay, more for me!" yells Naruuto. But she was out there too anyway but she had shut up. Ha, ha.

Naruto was getting in line for treats when Choji got in front.

"Hey Choji, you fatty load! Get outta here, I was here first!" yells Narurho.

"Shut up, dumb blondy! I want ice cream. I told you, I love it!"

Narhuto tried pushing fat Choji but he's too fat to move.

"Get outta here, fatty, I said. You'll just eat it all and nobody else will get any!" He tried kicking his butt. It just hurt his foot and he yelled "Owch!"

So truck man was giving cones out and fat Choji took a lot in his arms. "I love ice cream!" he yelled happily.

"Damn it, Choji!" growls Naruso, angered look on face which turned red. Choji walked off to stuff his face so Narurtoi finally got to truck man. "Please give me two cones of chocolate!" says Naruhuto looking cheerful with a big dumb smile.

"Oops, I am sorry! We're are all out of chocolate!" says truck man, shrugging arms.

"Noooooooo!" Mad was Naruhuto. "This is all fat stupid Choji's dault! He got all of the chocolate which was my favorite flavor! Grrrr!" Naruto growls. "Give me some dark fudge, okay?" he asks.

"Hmm, well we are all out of the dark fudge too, it seems. Sorry," truck man says.

"What? Nooooo! Not even fudge? cry Naruto in aggression.

"Nope. We only had one cone left and she took it first," says truck man and point to...Sakura!

Naruto's eyes got huge and he went "WHAT? Sakura?" Then he got real mad as he ran up to her. "Hey, so said you weren't got ice cream and you made fun of me for it!" Narutho yelled to her.

"So what?" she says back annoyedly.

"So give me your cone!" says Naruto angrily.

"No way! Not giving you my cone," Sakurra says mad, taking cone away from Naruto's face which was getting too close. "Get away from my cone!" says Sakura angrily again.

"No! That's my cone, I deserve it! Choji cut in front of me and you said you didn't want any and weren't hungry! So that is MY CONE!"

"No way, not your cone!" yells Sakura still moving cone from Naruso's hungry face and his drool.

"Give me cone, Sakuraaaaaaa!" he whispered crazily, trying to grab cone.

"NO!" yells Sakura again. "YOU'RE TOUCHING MY CONE!" she screamed. Naruto kept trying to get that cone. "QUIT TOUCHING MY CONE!" she yells and she punched Naruto's face accidently. "Oops!" she says, seeing Narhuto stuck in part of tree where he got hit into. "Well you shouldn't have been touching my cone."

Naruhtuo's legs stuck out and jerked. "Okay, I get it," Narhuto groaned from inside tree.

Next chap coming! Please get reviews!


	6. Somebody is Watching You

Chap. 6 Somebody is watching you

Narhuto walked out of school room when class was done but stops to water fountain for drink. Sakuraa comed up and looked sad. "What is the matter, Sakurru?" asked Naruhot questionly.

"Nothing really. But I've been wondering why Sasukee keeps cutting class more and more. Have you noticed, Narto? He's not here either," says Sakurra.

Naurto shrugged. "So? I cut class a lot too. It's normal. Especially for somebody like me and Sasuke."

Sakura looked mad and punched Naruso's arm. "Shut up! Naruto. You're a bad student so maybe for you, but not for Sasuke," she says. "I don't want to see him fail classes of ninja school like you will."

"Hey, I am not going to fail, Sakuuraa! So there," says Naruhoit back.

"Yes sir," says Sakurra sarcastically and leaves for door out.

"Pophfphfph, whatever, Sakura," says Naruto to himself. But then he thinks. "Hmmm, I do wonder what Sasuke is doing all the time away from school. Because he's not with me!" He giggled and he made ninja vanish to go find out where Saskuee went.

In the forest: trees, birds, rocks. And chirping insects. Where the noises of the place all around. Saskee was up sitting in tree with hands on his chest. His eyes were closed and he's trying to relax. Bugs come out down his leg and woke him up. He was not afraid because it was just Shino.

"Oh, hi Shino," says Saske.

"Hey Saskee," says Shino back. "You know Naurtho is looking for you, Saske," he says.

"Yeah, so," says Sasukee, not looking very worried.

"Okay," says Shino. "Well, see you. Or maybe not," he says and goes away.

"SASKUEEEEEEEEEEE!" Says Naruhto loudly into the trees from the top of his lung case. "Where are you?" he yells. "You can't hide from me for very long. I will find you." Naruhto started running fast through trees and bushes. He got to tree where Saskue had been at, but nobody was there any more. "Stupid Saske," says Narhuto, mad.

High up in trees out of sight, there was red glowing eyes of a strange ninja, and it's chakura was hidden so Naruhot and other Leaf Villagers can't see it.

Who was ninja? Find out next chap, plz!


	7. Evil Ninjas Come Back Again!

Chap. 7 Evil Ninjas Come Back Again!

Naruhuto sadly walked back to Konoha but hid it so it didn't look like he was depressed. He missed Saskue, but he didn't want to admit. Then trees shook. He looked up into. He saw the evil ninjas from before! Again, coming for him! They jumped down to grass.

"Looks like we found you again, Narhuto!" says Megalin, holding big kung fu nunchucks.

"Now we're gonna kill you, fox demon," says Black Storm Kakshe, who had a sword which sparkled with lightning. He waved it back and forth so it makes a scary noise.

"I don't care! You're just idiots! I can beat you with my hands behind my back, you're so easy!" yelled Narutho, standing like Goku from Dragonball Z. (He's fight move to stand like that is cool) "I will kill you first!" he yells loud and angry.

Then someone else jumps down from a tree.

"What? Who is?" yells Narhuto, making a glare face. The ninja is in all black with a mask over his face so you cannot tell if he's a man or a woman. "Who are you?" angers Naurot loudly.

"I am..." says the ninja of black.

"NARUHOT, LOOK OUT! YOUR FATHER'S COME TO KILL YOU!" screams Saskuee, jumping down out of another tree.

Omg, next chapter! Please stay tuned for anything!


	8. My Secret Dad wants to kill me?

Chap. 8 My Secret Dad wants to kill me? It's A Bad, Bad Day.

"WHAT?" screams Narutho, shocked badly. "What is this crap, Saskue?

Saske came next to Naruhto again and make fight move (like Vegeta! Get it. Hahaha I like DBZ too) "It's your own father. He's the leader of an evil order of ninja clan who wants to get all the powers of the great beasts of tails.

"What are these?" questions Nahruto.

"They're great summoned creatures who have tons of power. Enough to destroy whole planets," Says Saksue angrily, with darkness in his eyes.

"No way!" says Naruhuto quietly. "He's my own father?"

"Yes," says Sake.

"Yes I am, Narhuto," says the black ninja of evil. He was wearing a shroud of black and hood, when thrown off, he revealed hair of golden just like Narhuto's, except his had red eyes that glowed bright and looked evil like Sharingan eyes but not because they pupils was white, no black and not spinny.

"Don't looke into his eyes, Narhuto!" screams Saskue. But it was too late.

"I'm sorry. You're gonna die. Son," says evil father ninja. "But before you go, I tell you my name: I am..."

BOOM, EXPLOSION! Everywhere. And then all the other ninjas who were evil went flying but so did Saskue and Naruhot.

"What happened? Where they go to, Saske?" yells Naruhoto so angry.

"I don't know, Naruhuto," says Sasukee back, groaning with pains. He got up and looked all over, but evil ninjas and Narto's dad was gone away. He looked for the source of explosion. "Who throws a bomb?"

"I did!" says voice.

It was...a little girl?

What? No way! Keep reading, please, and reviews nice too!

I don't like bad things says but it won't make me mad. So I don't care. Thank you for whatever!


	9. A Stupid Little Girl is a Super Ninja?

Chap. 9 A Stupid Little Girl is a Super Ninja? Yeah right.

"Who are you?" asked Narhuto, looking mad at the little girl in pink frills, ribbons, and bows. Her hair was tied in big huge pony tails up on the top of her head. She looked a little cute, but Naruto was not going to say anything about that! Saske would make fun of him for it.

"My name is Purimaichii Issinoskee. But you dummies can call me Puri-chan!" she says cute but angry at Narhuto and Saskue and stuck out her tongue.

"What you say? You're just a little kid, so watch it! We're older than you," grrs Naruthos, shaking a fist.

"So what I saved both of you with my special super cherry bombs," she says madly, stomping a tiny foot.

"Well, she's right," mutters Saskee, looking bored. "She did save us from your crazy dad and those other ninjas."

"So, we could have taken them on!" says Narhuto back, even madder. "It's stupid to get saved by a tiny girl ninja in all pink and frilly laces like five years old!"

Puri-chan got really, really mad and stomped her foot again, making rocks jump with surprise energy. "I'm not a five year old! Just because I look this way doesn't mean I really am! I am a princess. I am a sorceress ninja. AND I AM OVER 100 YEARS OLD, YOU DUMMIES!"

"WHAT?" yelled Narutoh and Saskue, looking shocked. Then the energy she made went angry so much. Blew them both into the forest trees again!

"Whoa, she's got some big power, Saskee. I don't think we should make her mad anymore," groaned Narutho, in the tree side same as back when Sakurra punched him in the face for the ice cream. But now Saskue was accidentally in the tree the same way too.

"Yeah, me too," he says in same groan of pain.

Whoa, she's powered up, isn't she? Who is her? Find out next story chap. THANKS FOR READING, ALL!


	10. The Ninja Sorceress Extraordinaire

Chap. 10 The Ninja Sorceress Extraordinaire: Puri-chan

(Puri-chan is my made up character okay, please don't steal her! My friends all own our own characters so we can tell if someone tries to steal them.) Puri-chan: Yeah, Dummies! Or I can take out your livers and feed them to my ninja dragons back home!

Me: Okay, back to story!

Naruhto and Saskuee was sitting in front of Puri-chan. She told her story to them: "I am Puri-chan. I came from the Village of Dreams hidden in the mountains of misty forests. It is a very secret place were only my clan can get to because only we have special eyes to see past the Genjitsu that can hide it and keep it hidden from everyone else and evil people who want to get us. They want to get into there to steal our magic scrolls that can pull the fox demons out of ninjas like Narutho."

"Oh wow, that sucks," says Narhuto. "They'll never get my fox demon!" he says and be proud.

Sassuke looked at Narhuto badly. "They will get it, if you're stupid like that all the time," he says to him.

"Shut up, Sasgay!" yelled Naruuuho.

"Shut up, both of you!" yells Puri-chan. "I'm thinking here, so shut it up, Dummies!"

"Sorry," says Sakue and Nautros back and shut up.

"Okay. So I am a princess of Village of Dreams and one of the last powerful ninja sorceresses of my clan because most them got killed by evil ninja clan of darkness and have Naurhots dad trying to get us. I came here to save you from him when I heard you was gonna get taken by them."

Naruto looked at Puri-chann sad faced. "I can't believe my own father is evil ninja who wants to destry me, my friends, my school, and everybody else. Why they want my demon power?"

"Because it can rule the world," says Puri-chan. "Narhoto, I'm gonna warn you right now. If we can't kill them and stop evil fox demon from getting out of you body, we'll have to kill you.

"Whoa oh," says Saskee. "Too bad, Nart. I'll be sure to making sure he's killed," says Saskue with bad scary smile on his face.

"You're a idiot, Sasugay!" mumbled Narutho at him with pout. "Don't worry, Puri-chan. I will kill them first. And if I don't, then I kill myself," he says.

"Okay, but for now let's get something to eat. I'm starving!" says Puri-chan.

"Yeaaah!" says Naruhoros back. "That I can get with!"

Saskee just looks at them like thems crazy. "How can you two think of food at a time like this?"

"Because we're hungry!" both say back.

"They sure have something in common, don't they?" yells Saskue to himself.

Next chap! I will put. ALWAYS, THANKS YOU ALL! YOUR REVIEW!


	11. Back To The Village We Go

Chap. 11 Back To The Village We Go

Naruho, Saskee, and Puri-chan came back to Leaf Village. Everyone asked what they were at gone so long. Naruto just says traning. Kakshe stands by a tree looking lazy. He knew the real story why they were gone so long but didn't say nothing. People was wondering who the heck Puri-chan was but Saskee told them just a girl from far Village of Flowers, and she was village chief's daughter who they were getting paid to babysit so didn't get hurt. This made Puri-chan get more mad because Narutho got made it look like she was a little kid again and tell her what to do.

"Ha ha ha, you have to listen to me or you'll get everyone suspicious. So keep shutting up."

"You shut up!" say Puri-chan loudly at him.

"No, or you won't get any ice cream," says Naruhor and laughs.

"Gggg, I hate you both!" say Puri-chan, making a tantrum.

"What did I do?" asked Saskue, looking confused and a little angry.

Then they run into Sakura. "Hey you guys. Where you been at? You missed so much school, I had to do all your home work or they were going to fire you from school, you morons!" She slammed down books in front of them.

"Who is her?" questioned Puri-chan.

"My name is Sakuraa," says Sakur, "Why are you?"

"I am Puri-chan. I am a princess, so you better me nice to me. SAKURRRA," she says sarcastically.

"What?" say Sakra manly. "You're just a little kid, who you think you are talking to me smart like that! You need to go back to kindergarten, little girl! This is ninja school!"

Puri-chan looked really mad and the ground started to shook.

"Oh no, Saskeee, she made Puri angry!" say Narutot and he ducked under the desk.

"Yeah, I know," says Saskuee, who already was standing behind a brick wall by the fountain.

"I'M NOT A LITTLE KID!" screams Pur-chan. Explosion goes. Sakura is left standing there with her hair all blown up, covered in charcoal like powder and spitting out smoke when she coughed. (when people in anime get blowed up, get it?)

More coming. Heyheyheyue, I'm hyper today!

Puri-chan: Shut up, I'll blow you up too! BAKA-BOOOM!

Me: Oh no! cough cough (doing same as Sakara with smoke coughing and blackened face.)


	12. A Secret

Chap. 12 A Secret

Narhuto, Sakura, Sakuee, and Puri-chan was in a hotel for evening in the next village over which was Wind Village. Narhuto and Saskee told Sakura about Puri-chan, and her told Sakurra about how they need to be careful out in the open.

"That's so scary, Narutoi! I feel bad for you because your dad's evil and trying to kill you," says Sakurra.

"It's okay, Sakurra. I will be able to kill him back if I have to," says Naruto.

"Okay, now we're going to go Sand Village next day, so you all must get a little sleep now!" says Puri-chan.

They all went to bed. Then Naruto be wasn't sleeping.

"I can't sleep," says Narhutot. He got up. He goes to Saskuee's room where Saskuee is sleeping, but really not. "Hey, Saske," says Narhuto quietly in almost sexyness (OMG)

"What you want, Narhuto?" say Sakuse, leaning over to look at him.

"I don't sleep good, Sakue. I think about you too much," says Narhuto and got into bed with him! Then they start making out!

"Oh, Saskueke," say Narhto, kissing his face good and sexy, "I love you so much."

"I know, Nahruto. But nobody can ever know this! Okay?"

"Yes," say Nareutoh. "It's our secret! Only ours because we've loving each other for ever and ever."

They kissed some more and both went to sleep better.

Next day!...

Sakurra woke up and Puri-chan woke up too, they had breakfast. Narhuto and Saskue went there.

"Where is stupid Narhuto and Sasskue!" she asked.

"Boys are so stupid!" says Puri-0cjan, eating bread into mouth.

"WOKE UP, YOU GUYS!" Saurkraak screamed at top of her lung case.

"What you screaming for, you girl!" yells Narhuto coming down the stairs. "Why you woke us up so early?" he yelled while rubbing his head.

"Because we got to go now, you dummies! It's not early, you sleeped right until noon lunch," says Puri-chan. "Why you sleeping so late, you dummies?"

Nahruto knew he could not say but he smiled.

lolololololol What's going on there? Fine out next chapter! Please.


	13. Where Kakaske go?

Chap. 13 Where Kakaske go?

Narhuto, Sakkura, Saskue, and Puri-chan were all now at the Village of Sand. They all seen Gara, the raccoon ninja spirit of tail, so stopping and ask questions.

"Hey Garaa, How you doing?" say Narsakuurra.

Garra looked at her and says back," I am fine. What you doing here, Sakurra?"

Sakkura tells him everything.

He goes, "Okay. I see." But then he says, "Sakkura, do you know that nobody has seen Kashi sensai in Leaf Village for days now?"

"No," says Sakkura back confused. "I didn't know that."

Nahurot came up to Saaskuran and Gaara. "What you says? No Kakshe anywhere? Where'd he gone to?" wonders Naruto.

"I'm right here," say an unseen voice.

They turn. It's...Kakashes!

"What you doing here, Kakshis?" yells Naruhot angrily on being scared by him.

"I come to follow you on your quest. I know all about Puri-chan because her grandfather was my old friend."

"It's true!" says Puri-chan happily.

"Well good, then you can help us fight bad ninjas who might gonna attack us on journey," says Saskue.

"Yeah, there's one who looks like you does, Kaskhie sensat!" Nahriuto laughed.

Kakshe looked scared for a second. "He looked like me?" he wondered. "I wonder if it is..." but he doesn't finish.

"What?" asked Nahruto to him. "You look weird, Kakshhi sensai."

"Oh!" says Kashis back, "It's nothing. Let's go."

"We're going to the Village of Bones now!" says Puri-chan. "It's dangerous so we'll be careful, okay?  
she says.

"Yes," they say.

Okay, I'll be back! Ger reviews!

**Thank the dear sweet lord this was all that was written for this joke fic, because it was actually very hard for me to translate it into halfway intelligible readability from the original form! Thanks for following along, if anyone out there has been. And thanks for the late SoldierofFortune for originally pooping this absurd mess out on deviantART.  
**


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